


The Most Dangerous Mission

by EternalTags



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: A lot of cursing, F/F, Funny, Humor, Party, Sexy, Sexy Times, Swearing, cursing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-05-18
Updated: 2013-05-20
Packaged: 2017-12-12 05:20:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/807740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EternalTags/pseuds/EternalTags
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shepard just finished clearing out the last of the Geth when Anderson pays a visit to the Normandy. He has a mission for her that Shepard would do anything to not have to do. Anderson is forced to order her to accept it. What is this mission? Rated M for future content such as language, violence, and sexy times</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Mission Requirements

**Author's Note:**

> I've been trying to further along my other fan fic, Coping with insanity, for the past week or so. Frankly all the drama of the dark story inspired me to write something more lighthearted and rather humorous. Same Kara Shepard as in Coping with insanity, only a little earlier and a little more sane. Rated M for future content, such as violence, swearing and yes, sex. All in good time my readers, all in good time.

Geth cleanup was almost like a vacation. After all that time spent hunting Saren, finding Prothean artifacts, arguing with the Council and ultimately saving the galaxy? Spending a month on a back water planet, wiping out the last of Saren's Geth was nearly therapeutic. The best part was that this particular planet was in a "dead zone", effectively cutting them off from all other world communications. Shepard was almost sad when she put a put a bullet through the head of the last AI.

"Mission accomplished people, lets pack it up." Pulling off her visor, Shepard drew the back of her hand over her face, only smearing the thick layers of sweat and dirt. The planet was beyond humid, and every step left you three inches in mud, but there was something about the grime that just made it all the more enjoyable. It reminded her of her days in boot camp. The crew had so much practice killing Geth, it wasn't much of a surprise that not a single one of them had more than a scratch or a bruise. Though Shepard's armor would need a new coat of black and red paint, she was otherwise unharmed. Tracking mud through the doors of the Normandy, laughing with her teammates, Shepard enjoyed a moment she rarely experienced in her life. A moment of pure, carefree happiness. For now, there was no crazed ex-SpectRe leading an army across the galaxy. There were no superiors breathing down her neck, or lying politicians trying to screw her over. She could be who she was meant to be. Just a soldier following orders, fighting an enemy, and ending a mission.

~Commander, Counselor Anderson is waiting for you in the armory~

Before Joker's voice came over the speakers, Shepard had just returned to her quarters and peeled off most of her chipped, grime caked armor.

"Anderson?" She froze. What in the hell would he be doing all the way out here? Her stomach sank. There were no communications between planets, and messages could only be transferred personally. Anderson was on the counsel now, he was way too important to fly halfway across the galaxy just to deliver a message. He would only be here if something really bad was happening. Something so classified, that only a Counselor could be trusted with the information. In her book, there was only one threat big enough. The Reapers. Something was happening, something that meant they weren't trapped in deep space like she had hoped. Could there have been another way for them to get here? Adrenaline shot through her veins as she charged to the elevator, still in her greaves, boots and skin tight under armor. Mashing the button repeatedly as the doors slowly closed, she was lowered all the way down to the engineering deck. The second the doors opened wide enough to fit through, she took off.

Anderson was standing at the weapons bench, next to Ashley, idly chatting about weapon upgrades. This threw Shepard off as she got closer. Surely if his visit was about the Reapers, he would not be taking part in small talk with the crew. As soon as he looked up at the Commander, she snapped to attention with a salute.

"Ah, Commander," He acknowledged her salute with a nod. "Chief Williams was just telling me that you have finished clearing out the Geth. Good work."

"Um, thank you sir." Standing at ease, her hand lowered back at her side. "Sir? If you don't mind me asking, why are you here?" Without breaking eye contact with him, Shepard motioned Ashley to move along. After the young Chief left, Anderson took in the Commanders appearance. Dark reddish brown hair was coming loose from its ponytail, and wisps were clinging to her cheeks and forehead. Shepard's usually pale face was coated with dirt, making her bright green eyes stand out more so than usual. Her greaves and boots were scuffed and scratched leaving small lines of silver across the black and red polish. Her under armor was darkened with sweat, and her dog tags gleamed against the contrast. She looked every bit the soldier. It would be quite the challenge to change that.

"Calm down Commander, I'm just here to give you your… new assignment." He chuckled when her brow furrowed and her eyes squinted slightly, turning her head to the side. The Shepard stink eye was her personal way of saying 'Something's up, and I'm sure I'm not going to like it.'

Remembering what he was here for, he disguised his chuckle as a cough, straightened up with his shoulders back, and clasped his hands behind him. Having regained his official looking stance, Shepard stood ram rod straight, ready for her orders. Anderson nearly lost it as he imagined what her reaction was going to be.

"Commander Kara Shepard, you are formally invited to the birthday party of the Earth Prime Minister." After just his first sentence, she reacted as he thought she would. Eyes wide open, and jaw dropped in complete and utter shock. Holding down his laughter, he continued in his commanding tone.

"Exactly one week from now, at 1600 hours, you are to report to the address that will be sent to you via omni-tool. You are not attending as a soldier, not as a Commander, not as a SpectRe, not even as the Hero of the Citadel. You are attending as Kara Shepard. You will be expected to wear a formal dress, accessorize, wear makeup, and yes, god forbid, you will even do your hair." At this, she had completely lost her perfect posture. Her shoulders were slouched forward, hands hanging at her sides, shock and disbelief still clear on her face. He wasn't done yet. Anderson knew that with this last command, Shepard will definitely have something to say. "Because you will be a guest, you will not be armed."

That did it.

"What?!" Shepard's legendary temper had finally made its appearance.

"I don't think I stuttered, Commander. You. Will not. Be armed." He repeated.

"What abou-"

"No!"

"What if I-"

"No! No side arm! No Omni-Tool! No knives! Not even a retractable blade in your shoe! God help me Shepard, I will have you frisked at the door."

"Sir, you cannot expect me to go without-" Anderson cut her off before she could finish, fully expecting this argument. Shepard had what he had come to call, soldiers luck. Anything that could go wrong will go wrong, but after a few moments of chaos, the problem will be quickly resolved. Shepard was truly the only person with soldiers luck to have lasted longer than a few years in the military. As a result of having such a record, Kara had never once gone longer than a few moments without a weapon within reach.

"Commander, this will be a guarded event. Several Marines, even a few N7 officers will be making up the defenses in the very unlikely event of something going wrong. If it will make you feel better, you will be allowed to add two members of your crew to the guard. This is not up for debate, Commander. You will be attending, and that's an order. Have I made myself clear?"

Like a pouting child, Shepard had folded her arms and looked away, glaring at the floor.

"Commander…" He said in a warning tone.

She had just been about to remind Anderson that She was a SpectRe now, and didn't have to take orders from the Alliance. Then she remembered she wasn't the only one who had a promotion. Councilor Anderson, at her request, was now one of four people who could actually give her orders. At the tone of the Councilors voice, she snapped him a salute, with a glare in her eyes.

"Sir, yes sir." Gaining the response he was looking for, he made his way to the elevator to exit the ship.

"I'll see you there Shepard. Can't have you showing up without an escort." He smirked as the doors began to close.


	2. Temptation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~So, chapter two, we get a little more into that rated M thing. Not full on smut, but quite a bit. I can't tell you how much fun I had writing this. A little info though, this takes place in Shepard's room, yes, but it's not the same one that was in the SR1. Just pretend the captain's cabin from the SR2 is in the SR1. It's just better that way.~

"That god damn, ass packing, son of a bitch!" This statement was emphasized by a boot flying across the room before thudding against the opposite wall of Shepard's cabin, just missing Liara as she came in. A few seconds after Anderson had left the ship, the Commander had snapped for Joker to set a course for Illium, then stomped her way up to her room, unaware that Liara was following close behind. Why Illium? Because Shepard doesn't own a dress and Illium is only an hour away. She's going to have to go shopping seeing as she didn't own anything even close to a dress.

Yelling curses as she stripped off the rest of her armor, she seemed to have just noticed the Asari.

"He knows, HE. KNOWS, how much I fucking hate these godamned fancy parties!" Her eyes were wide with anger as she spat the words between gritted teeth. Liara just stood there and let the Commander rant. "And no weapon? Seriously, what the fuck? I was always allowed at least my side arm as long as I kept it covered or something!" Her pacing stopped when she came to her dresser and yanked open a drawer.

"I made sure I would never get invited to one of these fucking political pissing contests the last time Anderson made me go to one!. You would think traumatizing a senator's wife would put you on the invite black list!" As she ranted, she peeled off her sweat soaked under armor, leaving her in her black sports bra and panties, and began rummaging through her drawers for a clean change of clothes. Liara let her eyes wonder over Kara's bare muscular back and shoulders, admiring the way her muscles moved and flexed while she angrily shoved unwanted clothes to the side. She caught herself when her gaze began to focus lower. The way her lovers firm, tight, round…

*No! Focus! Now is not the time!* "You traumatized a senators wife?"

Shepard, after setting the clothes she wanted on her desk, stormed to her bathroom, shedding her underwear as she went. Liara's eyes widened, her desire becoming fairly difficult to control.

*She is not making this easy for me.*

"After the Blitz, all of a sudden, the Alliance wanted to show off their new poster child. Anderson forced me to go to one fancy godamn party after another. Shake hands, smile, schmooze, the whole political ass kissing deal." Liara heard the water of the shower, and tried (unsuccessfully) not to imagine her Commander naked, wet, and lathered in soap. Shepard continued her rant anyway, oblivious to Liara's struggles to resist stripping down and joining her mate in the shower. "I hated every fucking second of it! I would rather have had faced a Thresher Maw unarmed then attend one more fucking party, ball, celebration, gala, or banquet. But Anderson threatened me with forced leave of absence if I misbehaved, the bastard. 'If brass wants you to schmooze, you are damn well going to schmooze with a smile on your face!'" Kara yelled from behind the closed bathroom door, imitating the former Captain's voice.

Giving herself something to do, Liara began to walk around Shepard's room, picking up the discarded clothes and scraps of armor.

"About ten 'soirees' later, I had enough. I told Anderson I wasn't going to another one, and if he made me, he wouldn't like the outcome. Thinking he was calling my bluff, he made me go to the next one anyway. Some rich spoiled donor fundraising get together to raise money for something stupid and pointless that I didn't care about. Twenty minutes in, I found myself talking to one of Earth's senators and his wife. After he left to get a drink my opportunity came up." Shepard paused as she remembered one of the most satisfying reactions she ever got from a non-military politician. Her voice became lighter and on the verge of laughter as she continued.

"She actually asked me what being a soldier was like, if you can believe it! I went into great detail on the most gruesome ways you could kill someone and missions when I got to use those methods. Gutting a Krogen and watching as three sets of organs spilled out onto the floor. What it was like finding a corpse after it had been rotting for three days in a swamp. I even recalled one mission where I fought this Blue Suns merc. I told her how if you twist a Turian's neck just right, not only can you hear the vertebrae crack and feel the brain stem snap in two, but how their scales shatter and literally rip off, leaving a bloody mess all over your hands. I went on with stuff like that until she ran to a trash can and barfed."

Liara felt a little bad for the poor woman. She was feeling a little queasy herself. Shepard gave a harsh laugh as she went on. "You should have seen Anderson's face! He practically grabbed me by the ear and dragged me outside. I got reamed about how much trouble I just caused him, and how much damage control he was going to have to do. When he started to say I wasn't going to get a single invite after that stunt, he realized that was exactly what I was after. I thought I was off the hook when he stopped yelling and let me go home, but then he pulled me off the next mission I was lined up for, and sent me to train recruits in boot camp for a few weeks instead. It sucked, but it was better than playing dress up and playing nice with people I couldn't care less about. Ever since then, Anderson conveniently sent me away on missions the same day an invite showed up."

The bathroom doors swooshed open, and Liara had to bite the inside of her cheek in order to stifle a groan. Shepard walked out of the bathroom, dripping wet, with nothing but a towel in her hands as she quickly dried her long hair. The glow from her fish tank reflected on her damp skin, making the water droplets glisten as they fell down her neck, between her breasts, over her chiseled abs and round hips, her firm toned legs,and the way her hips gently swayed with each step, *GODDESS I don't know how much more of this I can take!*

"I guess I can't really blame him this time though." She sighed. "It is the Prime Minister. If he requested I go, there's really no saying no." Liara barely heard Shepard over the sound of heated blood thudding through her ears. She did however, notice when Kara started to pick up her clean clothes. Giving up on being good, Liara dropped the clothes already in her hands and briskly walked up to the Commander before swatting the clothes from her hands as well. Grabbing Shepard's bicep, Liara pulled her forward the last few inches and latched her mouth onto Kara's soft lips, easing them to part with her tongue. Lacing her other hand through the still damp, long dark red locks, she forced Shepard even closer as she explored her lovers mouth. The force of the kiss drove Shepard backwards, being stopped by the cold edge of her desk, but Liara did not relent. Her tongue glided over the roof of Kara's mouth, over her smooth teeth. She pulled back only to allow them a chance to breathe.

"You think you're allowed to walk around naked in front of me, and then put clothes on as if nothing happened? Do you remember what happened the last time you did that? Have I taught you nothing?" The asari murmured, her lips only centimeters from the Commanders cocky grin. A shiver of desire shook down her spine when Kara's fingertips slowly worked their way underneath the hem of Liaras shirt and lightly settled on the curve above her hips.

"Hmmmm, I don't seem to recall." Shepard's voice was low and raspy. It never ceased to drive Liara crazy. "You might need to remind me. Then again I could forget again, so you will need to remind me several times. You know, so it'll stick." Her answer was a swift return to their passionate kiss, her hands now roaming freely across her lovers back, toned shoulders, smoothing down her chest and over soft breasts. Gripping Shepard's waist firmly, Liara walked backwards without breaking the hungry kiss, leading them to the bed.

Shepard however, was getting impatient. She was tugging at every offensive piece of clothing covering Liara that prevented her very naked self from touching that soft blue skin. Not even making it to the bed, Kara had changed their direction to the much closer couch. They had topped over the arm of the couch and landed hard. They didn't even notice. Shepard, now on top of her asari, began to pull Liara's shirt off as fast as she could, breaking the kiss briefly, only to throw the shirt aside. Her hands moved underneath the asari, searching for her bra clasp.

"God, you're amazing." Shepard gasped. Liara had allowed her to come up for air, simply moving the kiss to the Commanders neck. Her hands were clasped on firm hips, holding her love as close as possible, occasionally allowing a palm to float across well-defined abs and enjoying the responding twitching. Biting, licking and sucking the sensitive skin down her neck, across her collarbone, and back up along her jaw, Liara was everywhere at once. Shepard groaned in pleasure. Liara felt a small bit of pride when she saw her eyes roll back and her eyelids flutter.

Finally undoing the clasp, Shepard threw the bra across the room, making it as lost as the shirt. Nearly diving down, she took hold of both newly exposed breasts and took a perked nipple in her mouth, holding it between her teeth she had begun licking and sucking with practiced movements, knowing exactly how to drive Liara wild. She grinned when she felt a hand plunge into her hair and another wrapping behind her neck and gripping the opposite shoulder, holding her close. Shepard's own hands were frantically trying to unbutton the asaris skin tight pants. Feeling the fabric finally giving slack, she was about to yank the last of the clothing, (panties and all) that was keeping her from her prize.

~Now docking at Illium, Commander. I have the coordinates Anderson sent. If you wanna make it to Earth in time for the party, we need to be outta here in a few hours.~

Shepard went completely slack as Liara's head fell back with a disappointed sigh. Both their arms falling limp to their sides and slipping off of the couch.

Her face nuzzled between Liara's breasts, Shepard let out a growl, "Bastard has the unholy gift of terrible timing." Still grumbling, Shepard rolled off of Liara and landed heavily on the floor with a muffled 'oof.' Giggling at her goofy behavior, Liara watched as Kara pulled on her clean clothes. She wore a pair of faded blue jeans with a hole torn in the knee, and a simple dark blue tank top that showed just the slightest amount of cleavage. The shirt allowed the world to see the swooping lines of an Earth bird of pray called an "Eagle" on her right shoulder. The black tip of a wing just touching her collarbone, and the other wrapping around to end on her shoulder blade. The pattern reminded her of the abstract lines some asari get to accentuate their facial features, only these lines were brought together so beautifully to show a picture. When Liara had asked about it, Shepard simply said she didn't remember getting it. Shepard assumed she had gotten it in her youth on Earth, which the Commander had no memories of and refuses to remember.

Shepard walked around the room, gathering hers and Liara's clothes that had been spread all over the room. "Hopefully, I won't be gone long. I know where I have to go, and I've got a general idea on what I'm gonna get."

"You are going to go shopping for a dress. By yourself. On your own." Liara sounded skeptical. Almost afraid at what monstrosity Shepard was going to ware.

"Hey, I'll have you know, before the Blitz, I was part of an infiltration group! I know how to wear a disguise! This is just going to be a … fancy disguise!"

"This is hardly an infiltration mission," Liara laughed, "It's a party! You have to be sophisticated, polite, not to mention lady like." Shepard shivered at that word.

"Well believe it or not, I do know how to act like a lady." Shepard said with a flourish as she finished pulling her hair back into a simple pony tail, "I also don't want you to see before the party. Consider yourself lucky, you and Ash are going to be the only people on this ship to ever see me in a dress." Pulling on her own clothes, Lira answered with a smile of her own.

"I take it Ashley and I are going to be on guard duty for the party?"

"Well I wanted to bring you as my date, but Anderson made it rather clear that he was going to be my 'escort.' He's quite the old fashioned gentleman isn't he?" She rolled her eyes and gagged a bit, bringing another giggle from Liara. Satisfied with her response, Kara walked up to Liara who was now dressed, but still sitting on the couch. She leaned over and kissed her lovers brow before turning to leave. Looking over her shoulder as she left, she stole one last glance at her own asari goddess.

"Besides, it will take a week to get to Earth. That might be just enough time to finish what Joker interrupted."

**Author's Note:**

> ~comments please~


End file.
